LA WEB DE READING COMPREHENSION PREFERIDA POR LOS HISPANOHABLANTES

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HUMOR SHORTIES

Orly Borges Personal Collection

Enjoy this short collection of humor shorties.
They will help spice up your working day.

Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.

Lots of girls can be had for a song.
Trouble is, it's the wedding march.

The only time a woman really succeeds
in changing a male is when he's a baby.

Overheard at an auction sale:
"Sold to the lady with her husband's hand over her mouth."

"Your husband says he leads a dog's life."
"Yes, it's very similar.
He comes in with muddy feet, makes himself
comfortable by the fire, and waits to be fed."

"Few women have any knowledge of parliamentary law."
You don't know my wife. She's been speaker of
the house for twenty-five years."

Have you heard of the lawyer who drove
his $50,000 Cadillac to Las Vegas and came back on a
$500,000 Greyhound?

Pity your boss.
The poor guy has to get up early to see who comes in late.

Ted: "I started out on the theory that the world had an opening for me."
Fred: "And you found it?"
Ted: "Well, kinda, I'm in the hole now."

The college I went to turned out some great men."
"When did you graduate?"
"I didn't exactly graduate. I was turned out."

Daughter: "Oh, mother, I took Henry into the loving room last night and...
Mother: That's living, dear..."
Daughter: "You're telling me."

Source: Orly Borges Personal Collection

GLOSSARY

spice up: make more interesting (realzar, hacer más interesante)
sentence: used here in a double sense. It means "several words following the rules of a language" (oración), but also "the period of time a prisoner is imprisoned") (condena)
wedding march: nuptial song (marcha nupcial)
a male: a man (un macho, un hombre)
overheard: heard without the knowledge of the speakers (oido por casualidad)
auction sale: public sale of something (remate)

muddy: dirty with mud (embarrados)
speaker: orator, lecturer (conferenciante)
Greyhound: a famous commercial bus company all over the United States (autobuses de larga distancia en Estados Unidos)
pity: have compassion on (siente pena por)
kinda: to some extent (hasta cierto punto)
turned out: used in a double sense here, this phrasal verbs has two meanings, "to produce" (dió, entregó) and "to expel" (expulsar)
you're telling me (justamente tú me lo dices) 

 

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