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English Teaching Forum

A collection of funny jokes, personal situations and comments that will spice up your boring day...


Para obtener una traducción textual al español acerca la flecha de tu ratón a las palabras resaltadas.

The class is studying astronomy. The teacher points to a photograph, and says:
- Does anyone know what this is? It's a comet.
- A what?
- A comet, Eddie. Don't you know what a comet is?
- No.
- Don't you know what they call a star with a tail?
Sure. Mickey Mouse.

The teacher is asking an arithmetic question:

Frank, if you found three dollars in your right pocket and two dollars in your left pocket, what would you have?
I'd have somebody else's pants on.

The teacher is asking a geography question:
- Mary, where is the English Channel?
I don't know. We can't get it on our TV.

All the kids were trying to impress Grandpa, who had come for a visit. Timmy boasted:
I'm first in arithmetic, Grandpa. Sally said she had come in first in the spelling bee. Grandpa asked little Billy: What are you first in, Billy? Well, I'm the first one out the door when the bell rings.

The little boy had just started school. When he returned home the first day, his mother asked: Billy, what did you learn today? I learned to write. Oh, what did you write? I don't know. I haven't learned to read yet.

he psychiatrist was asking questions to test his patient. Do you ever hear voices without knowing who is speaking, or where the voices are coming from? Yes, sir, I do. And when does this occur? When I answer the telephone.

A doctor had an urgent call. Can you come immediately, doctor? My little son has just swallowed a fountain pen. I'll be there right away. What are you doing in the meantime? Oh, I'm using a pencil.

A man bought a parrot that could speak five languages. He paid a thousand dollars for it. The pet-shop owner said that he would deliver the bird that afternoon. When the proud owner got home, he asked his wife if the parrot had been delivered. She answered, Yes, it has. Where is it? It's in the oven. In the oven? But he could speak
five languages! Well, then, why didn't he speak up?

A man in a restaurant said to a stranger sitting at the next table, Do you realize that you are reading your newspaper upside down? Of course I realize it. Do you think it's easy?

I used to snore so loud I would wake myself up. What did you do about it? I cured myself. Oh? How did you do that? Now I sleep in the next room, and I don't hear a thing.

A boy was talking to his mother: Gee, Mom, I'm really glad you named me Albert. Why? Because that's what all the kids at school call me.

After everyone was in bed the telephone rang. Is this one one one one? No, this is eleven eleven. Are you sure this isn't one one one one? Yes, I'm sure. This is eleven eleven. Well, I'm sorry to have gotten you up. That's all right. I had to get up anyway. The phone was ringing.

Sam, why are you standing in front of the mirror with your eyes closed? Well, I want to see what I look like when I'm asleep.

Why can you never starve in a desert? Because of the sand which is there.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Dewey. Dewey who? Do we have to go to work today?

Knock, knock. Who's there? Justin. Justin who? just an old friend here to see you.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? What are you, an owl?

Knock, knock. Who's there? Gopher. Gopher who? Go for a long walk, and don't come back!

Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? What are you crying about?

How do you get six elephants into a Volkswagen? I don't know ... how? You put three in the front seat and three in the back seat.

Source: English Teaching Forum


comet: cometa
a star with a tai
: una estrella con cola
I'd have somebody else's pants on
: llevaría puestos los pantalones de otra persona
We can't get it
: no logramos sintonizarlo
spelling bee
: concurso de ortografía
the first one out the door
: el primero en salir a
la calle
without knowing
: sin saber
has just swallowed
: acaba de tragarse
right away
: de inmediato
in the meantime
: mientras tanto
: loro
pet-shop owner
: dueño de la tienda de mascotas
would deliver
: enviaría
the proud owner
: el orgulloso dueño
: horno
didn't he speak up
: no habló más fuerte
Do you realize that
: se da cuenta que

upside down: al revés, dado vuelta
I used to snore so loud
: solía roncar tan fuerte
I would wake myself up
: que yo mismo me despertaba
: eh
to have gotten you up
: haberlo hecho levantar
: espejo
what I look like
: cómo me veo
starve in a desert
: morir de hambre en un desierto
the sand which
: juego de palabras: la arena que = el emparedado
: juego de palabras: los americanos pronuncian "do we" como "dewey"
an owl
: una lechuza
: juego de palabras: los americanos pronuncian "go for" como "gopher"

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